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Why I Hate Valentine's Day (And You Should Too)

Picture
By Shay 

Are you depressed this Valentine’s Day?
Do you spend February 14th in bed indulging in terrible rom-coms and marinating in half-melted Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, wondering how fast you’ll die alone?
Do you spend half your yearly salary on an oversized, anaemic-looking teddy bear, a cringy card and allergy-inducing roses?
Do you fear some strange winged baby in diapers following you around and shooting you with sharp arrows?

​Well, fear not...because Valentine’s day is all a scam anyway!

Ever heard of the saying love doesn’t cost a thing? Turns out that was a big, fat lie. What love does cost you is $131 US each Valentine’s day, a number which is only expected to rise over the next couple years. And that comes to a grand total of 17.6 billion dollars for all Americans combined (more than the GDP of some countries).

Even so, surely the beautiful old legend will convince you; St Valentine, who was martyred on the 14th of February for daring to love…Ha-ha, nope.

The real Valentine (and there were plenty of them - apparently the name Valentine was top of the ancient Roman pops) either died in Africa in the third century or was a preachy priest whose sole mission in life was to lead people to the light of Jesus. The closest either of them could have gotten to some semblance of romance was carrying out marriage ceremonies...and for other people at that!

Breaking news: Valentine’s day is a purely commercial holiday.

Who really benefits from Valentine’s day? It’s surely not you, what with all the bone-crushing anxiety of living up to the expectations of your partner or, alternatively, the bone-crushing anxiety of having a partner in the first place. Nope, it’s definitely going to be the chocolate companies or the florists who charge ridiculous markups on their roses ($125 for twelve roses, really? Just send your Valentine a bouquet of fried chicken instead) or Kleenex who make millions out of your oh-i’m-single-and-depressed-tears.

And if you’re still not convinced, here’s a bonus reason: For the 0.0001% of the population already in a relationship, did you know that you can celebrate the sentiments and observances of the holiday on any of the other 364 days of the year?

We Would Love To Have You Visit Again Soon!




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    • That's What You Missed On Glee
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    • Little Women Review
    • Why Amber is the unsung hero of Sofia the First
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    • The Last Black Man In San Francisco: The Best Film Of 2019 That Nobody Is Talking About
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      • Wake up, Boris Johnson
      • First Presidential Debate
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      • Who Will Replace RBG?
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    • Stairs: Would we be better off without them?
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      • Seniors: Issue 2
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      • The Clock: Part 1
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      • Yishun: The Devil's Ring
      • A World With No Borders
      • An Interview With The Divers At The Heart Of The Thai Cave Rescue
      • The Mountains
      • The Day I Woke Up In Troy
      • In Japan
      • Pertinus the Tenacious
    • Current Affairs Archive >
      • Riot vs. Protest
      • #BLM What You Need To Know
      • A World Of Performative Activism
      • Entrepreneurship: The Key To Go From Zero To Hero
      • Why The U.S-Iran Conflict Is Sure To Escalate
      • Why India’s Citizenship Bill And Its Effects Are More Serious Than We Originally Thought
      • The Rise Of Bitcoin In 2019
      • Hurricane Delta
      • Why Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi's Murder Is More Significant Than We Originally Thought
      • Why Do Many Technology Startups Fail?
      • What Is The Trump-Ukraine Crisis And What Are Its Effects?
      • Ending The Hong Kong Protests - A Guide For Dummies
      • Why Brexit is Going Nowhere
      • Ending the Yemen War: A Guide for Dummies
      • India-Pakistan Conflict: A Dummies Guide
    • Editorial Archive >
      • Singapore's Latest Nuisance: Electric Scooters
      • Why Artificial Intelligence is the Future of Humanity
      • Self Driving Cars, The Future of The Automotive Industry
      • Should We Really Be Afraid Of Artificial Intelligence?
      • Something Is Rotten In The Heart of Tanglin's Head Team
      • Boeing 737 Max 8: A Question of Safety
      • A World in the Dark
      • The Day That Siri Died
      • Does Brandy Melville Fit into the Future of Fashion?
      • #NOFILTERPOETRY
      • World Cup Conspiracies
      • Is Money Really That Great?
      • Why I Hate Valentine's Day
      • How We Became Enslaved To The Social Media Overlords
      • The Projector VS Golden Village
      • A Little Red Dot
    • Entertainment Archive >
      • The Diary of Taylor Swift's Cats
      • Champions League Comebacks
      • It's Bruno, Possibly The Weirdest Show On Netflix?
      • Why Being a Film Fan in Singapore Kinda Sucks...
      • Fortnite Vs Apex: Let Battle Commence
      • The Dying Art Of One Direction Fanfiction
      • Taylor Swift Cancels Concert At The Melbourne Cup
      • Haji Lane
      • To All The Boys I've Loved Before
      • Thor Ragnarok film review
      • The Ring of Fury - Why Now?
      • The Films You Missed in 2018
      • Kingsman: The Golden Circle
  • Category