The Remote's Back

As soon as I considered the massive risk of going through the escape tunnel, I retreated and cowered under the coffee table. 

“Starhub Remote? What in the name of Samsung are you doing?” called out my inseparable friend, AC. I clambered back into the light of the living room.

“How about Baby Jake’s nursery? We could live their in peace away from the grabbing hands of our oppressive overlords?” I reasoned in desperation. Then cold realisation dawned. “No. Nuh-uh. That’s even worse than Oppo’s attempt at a camera phone,” I whispered, shuddering (I don’t think that’s normal for a TV Remote) in fear.

“That’s hard to disagree with,” said my other pal iPhone the Sixth. ‘But you don’t have to leave here. It’s…’ he trailed off. ‘Fine. It’s horrible.’ 

I raised an eyebrow. (Yes, we have eyebrows.) He rolled his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh.

‘I want to leave too.’ he admitted. He then looked at AC. ‘You?’

AC looked away, pretending not to listen, and picked at his temperature controls. I stared right at him and said, ‘AC?’ as loud and as impatient as I intended. AC still didn’t respond until me and iPhone threatened to remove his battery. He agreed that we needed to leave as soon as possible and made a list of required items for our perilous escape.

‘What can we defend ourselves with? Toothpicks? None of us are waterproof, let’s bring zip-locks… What else?’ he inquired, turning towards us.

‘Batteries!’ I exclaimed. ‘AAs please. And a charger for iPhone!’

‘Perfect! Oh deary me…’ he trailed off. Both iPhone and I looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

‘What?!’ we asked impatiently, in perfect unison. AC looked up quickly, surprised.

‘Oh…’ he said. ‘There’s only one AA left.’

‘That’s fine.’ I replied. ‘Mine got changed yesterday, and you only take one battery.’

I smiled. He smiled back and agreed. 

‘Yes. It’s fine.’

If only I knew how wrong I was.