I am a TV remote.
A remote with a story.
I hate my life.
First of all, my job is painful! Who can take being pressed and pushed and thrown around? I am a product of years of innovation, and by no means a toy!
Second, the risk of being a TV remote is palpable. Asphyxiation between couch cushions, pillows, and Baby Jake’s jaws was commonplace.
So, to sum up, my life… sucks, to put it crudely.
But now I am free. Free from Baby Jake. Free from the greasy, prodding fingers of humans after dinner.
It is time to write my story, to incite and inspire hope in the hearts of all other TV remotes. Let me start by regaling you with the details of my escape.
I was under the coffee table when my very good friend AC Controller rescued me. The realm beneath the coffee table is one that should be confined to the world of nightmares. The dust, the spiders and the long forgotten coins and gum disturbed me to my core. I breathed a long sigh of relief when I saw AC.
“Thank goodness you’re alright, Starhub!”
“AC, you don’t have to save me,” I said. “I’m resigned to my fate of being treated like a plaything.”
He rolled his eyes and muttered something about carelessness.
“I’m just saying, you might really get hurt.”
After he helped me up, we met with our mutual friend - iPhone the Sixth - to vent out frustrations. Hours felt like minutes when we discussed our horrible lives and jobs.
“I can’t wait to leave this place when they update the Air Con,” said AC. “I wish there was a tunnel out of here.”
I nodded in agreement.
“There’s a rumour going round the appliances,” iPhone whispered. “Apparently, there’s a small escape route in this very house. Nokia went through ten teaspoons digging it.”
I couldn’t believe it. An escape route! Finally! An opportunity to escape the living nightmare of the Smith home! I was ecstatic with joy!
“There is one downside, though,” iPhone stated.
“The entrance is in Baby Jake’s nursery.”
My heart sank. My predicament was identical to that of Tantalus; my salvation was so close, yet so far.
Part Two of Starhub’s Adventure Comes Out Next Week!